Preparing to pray

Whenever I spend time in Taizé, I meet with one of the brothers of the community. Until about 8/10 years ago it was Brother Thomas. Thomas was a wise Scot who had been my 'Guide Brother' since my days as a volunteer in 1988. I met with him weekly during my 18 months here and then ever since. Thomas was wise and would challenge me as well as often telling me things I didn't particularly want to hear. He was instrumental in the pursuit of my vocation to ordained ministry - and I've always said that a week in silence in Taize with daily meetings with Thomas were tougher than any selection conference!

Br Thomas died in January 2019. I was very pleased to have spent a little time with him the previous winter whilst I was on retreat. His memory wasn't great but I still remember with greata fondness, guiding him back to the community house. The roles reversed - he'd spent many years guiding me and here I was, privileged enough to be guiding him; although only physically. I still miss his quiet and wise tones. His wit as well as his bluntness. He is buried in the village churchyard where his body rests with other brothers. Read more about him HERE.

Br Jean-Marie has been my guide now for 6/8 years and we meet regularly when I'm in Taize. The other day, we were talking about my attempts to get to church early. Time for some still, some preparation. We wondered between us whether 'preparing to pray' was indeed prayer. It's not a luxury I often have at home. If I'm preaching or presiding I am surrounded by people and thinking about the service ahead. And if I'm not and worshipping in one of the churches in the parish, there's plenty of other things going on! In a conversation a few nights ago with other people, we acknowledged that it is often the time before the prayer that is the most precious in the silence of the church. People are coming and going of course, but there is a certain stillness to the place, especially in the mornings.

At times I've found prayer a struggle - I'm sure I'm not alone there. However, being here, in Taizé, brings about a certain comfort; it is my 'thin place'. It was here, as a young 18/19 year old I asked Br Roger about prayer as I was finding the 7 or 8 minutes of silent prayer uncomfortable - what on earth was I meant to do with all that time? His response was that it didn't matter; just being silent was prayer enough. It was hugely reassuring at the time and has remained with me especially in those times when prayer is difficult.

This afternoon I went for a decent walk. Nothing significant to say about the walk other than to post a few pictures from it. The stained glass window that is in the village church of St Francis is a reminder of home and one of our churches. It's a window I love.

A Prayer from Br Roger:

'Holy Spirit, consoling Spirit, when we remain in your presence, silent, at peace, that is already prayer. You understand everything about us, and at times even a simple sigh can be a prayer.